Confessions of a WAHM

WAHM stands for work at home mom. And I have to admit that often times being a WAHM is glamorized as this wonderful mesh of being a stay at home mom and having a career- you know being able to have it all. But you can't. It's hard, wonderful and frustrating all at the same time. I really wouldn't have it any other way- well unless I could be a stay at home mom sans the working.

Here are some of my confessions, as awkward as they may be:

Most days I don't find time to eat till at least one or possibly later.

Yesterday my baby was still in the pjs that she was put in the day before, after her bath.

I'm often distracted from work by the piles of laundry, dirty dishes, dust and of course that gorgeous baby making the cutest sounds.

Some days I am so stressed by work and everything I want to curl in a ball in cry.

It's rare when I actually get "dressed"

I don't have work hours so I usually work more then someone who actually goes to work.

I often am talking to clients as I am changing dirty diapers or wiping up spit up.

I love not dealing with the commute or waking up early to do my hair.

I love taking a break from work to roll on the floor with my baby.

Oh it's hard, really hard- but when I think of the alternative I remember how blessed I am. Even though I went back to work a week after Sadie was born, and it's been a whirlwind ever since, I like my job and I'm happy to help support my family.

Just a warning, if you happen to come over to my house unannounced, you will likely find me in stretchy pants an oversized t-shirt and hair stashed in a pony tail. Unfortunately, this is what Reid comes home to everyday.

Last Garbage Bag

Last week we used our last garbage bag. Is that a weird thing to blog about? Perhaps. We bought the box of garbage bags the week we moved into our house. That was two years and one month ago. I guess we are not a big trash family. That's got to make you feel good right?

Anyways, we are still busy. Sadie turns six months this week. She is rolling around, babbling, giggling, eating rice cereal and fruits and veggies. She is so happy. We love her. Last month we went to Las Vegas to visit Grandma and Grandad (my parents), Reid tried to get to Argentina and Peru (took a red-eye to JFK then an early morning flight to Atlanta to meet our brother in law who couldn't make the flight to ATL and then he turned around and came home to SLC) but it didn't work so he will try again this month, had our friends from Minnesotta come visit for a weekend and we took them snowboarding (two awesome days in a row), had Desi and Elliott and Reid's mom over which helped distract me from the crazy tests they were doing on me to determine if I had Crohn's disease (I don't thank goodness).

Now it's Sadie's first Easter and we are celebrating it in Southern Utah with Reid's mom! Sadie didn't really understand her easter basket but she loved playing with the grass! Here are some random pictures to enjoy:

The view from my desk while I work and Sadie plays

Sadie playing in her exersaucer

Sadie get's so excited when daddy comes home from work. Even if she's crying, hungry or tired- the second Reid steps in the door she's giggling and wants NOTHING to do with me anymore ; )

Sadie in Grandpa's (Reid's dad) truck

Hello there sunshine!

I haven't really posted on this blog much because I started a mommy journal. I figured people would get sick of me gushing about my baby all the time. I do plan on sharing some of my entries on here though. So reader beware it's going to be a gush fest today.

Dear Sadie baby,

Those crystal clear blue eyes and ginger hair are perfect but nothing compared to that smile and those giggles. If I lost my house, my computer, and everything else but was still able to see and hear those giggles I could be happy. Being a mom is really hard and someday you will understand that, but if I’ve had a stressful day and then you giggle it’s all out the window. Someday you will also understand how much I love you, but only when you have a sweet little girl (or boy) like you, will you get it. I know you don’t love me as much as I love you and that’s ok. My life changed the moment they set that warm baby in my arms, changed forever. I could barely even see you through those tears of joy. I felt like a piece of my heart was missing before but was filled when you entered my life.

Tonight I held you while you were sleeping. I tried to put you down but I couldn’t. I wish I could freeze time. I’m afraid if I blink it will be your wedding day. Please know you mean the world to me. Please know you are never alone. Sometimes when nothing else works to get you to sleep I lay you in your crib and you fuss a little but quickly fall asleep. You may not know that I’m sitting in your room, but I am. I know the world is scary and hard but I’ll be there- sitting in your room, even when you don’t know it. I love you, little princess.

Love and kisses,

Mommy

It's the happenings

I probably should update this more often but really what am I going to write? All my posts would be my belly is getting bigger, none of my clothes fit, I want fast food all the time and I cry during hallmark commercials. Now that's not really entertaining is it? If you want that there are thousands of other blogs you can read with those statements and they get really old after awhile right?

But I can tell you I had a blast at Disneyland with Jill two weeks ago, I'm loving my contract/freelance work (still looking for more), and Reid started hockey again! But hockey is more fun this time because I have more people to cheer for and with! Brandon is playing so I get to see Lesley and Drew weekly, and Chels and Alex came up to watch a game (hopefully not the only time that happens) and even my parents went to one of his games! Who will be the next to come and support #23?

Lets see, we are going to Kentucky this weekend to visit April, which should be awesome, as usual.

As for this baby in my belly? I know she's there because she likes to kick and roll around. I definitly am starting to look pregnant not just fat. So that's nice. I'm officially six months last Saturday and freaking out that crap- at the end of this I really do get a baby and really do become a mom. Can I really be a mom? We shall see...

Blah

All I want is to feel better!!!! As the days go on I just keep hoping to feel better but it hasn't happened yet. I'm so tired that I crash at 9:30 at night. I want to cook for my husband but I'm to tired and sick to do so. I lay like a slug. I'm sorry sweetie. I promise I want to take care of you but I just haven't gotten my energy back.

13 weeks pregnant and I have already gained- 8 pounds. Boo.

Just keep reminding myself I get a baby out of this....

The truth of our existence

I’m pregnant. (Please check out this link.) If you don’t believe me- here is the test to prove it.
I’m 12 weeks along and that has been a great feat for me. Reid and I both are very excited, nervous and perplexed. I know Reid will be a great dad and I’m hoping I will be a great mom as well. In order to avoid a barrage of questions that no doubt follow an announcement like this- I will answer them for you here.

How far along are you: 12 weeks. Hooray- I have made it through the
three worst/best months of my life.

Have you been sick: Yes. Very very sick. I didn’t know it was possible
to feel like this 24/7- why do they even call it morning sickness? I
looked around my house today and almost cried at how things have just
fallen by the wayside. Normally my house is spotless but it all could
use a good scrubbing. I have the best husband who has taken up a few
new responsibilities temporarily and has for the most part been very
patient.

Was it planned: How rude of you to ask. But since you did- yes this
was planned, as much as you can plan a pregnancy.

Are you going to find out the sex: Yes. Although I do love surprises-
this is one I feel I’d like to prepare for.

Do you want a boy or a girl: I want both. Normally I believe people
lie when they say that- but here are my reasons. Pros for a boy: Reid
is the namesake. And I don’t mean in just Reid’s family- but his
entire family (no pressure) so having a boy would relieve a lot of
pressure. Pros for a girl: I want a girl.

Are you excited: No not at all. Of course we are!!!

Have you been to the doctor yet: No. I’m not using a doctor- I’m using
a midwife. Call me crazy but I want a personal birth experience and I
believe this is the best way to obtain it. But I have been to see our
midwife and we got an ultrasound and the baby waved. I kid you not.

Where are you delivering: LDS Hospital

Will you work after having your baby: Of course I would love to be a
stay at home mom- and someday that will happen for me- but for now
Reid and I have dreams and goals we are striving to achieve and that
will require me to continue working after the birth of our first baby.

Have you had any cravings: Well I had cravings before I was pregnant
but now they are magnified. Some of my cravings have been: waffles,
Taco Bell, KFC, mashed potatos, spaghettios, thanksgiving dinner,
fruit and fruit flavored candy- and anything gummy (specifically gummy
froggies), and many other random things.

Have you had any aversions: Ha. Any time I am going to eat I have to
stop and think- could I eat that? And if the thought makes me want to
barf then the answer is no. But my weirdest aversion has been homemade
cookies- or really any cookies for that matter. And chocolate. Which
has been a bummer since I bought ten boxes of Girl Scout cookies and
can’t really eat them.

Well, I think that’s it for now. It’s nice to be able to tell people
now. I kept it a secret for a long time- even from my family who we
told at 10 weeks, because I was scared and superstitious. It’s an
exciting time in our lives and something that has brought us closer
together. Our relationship has definitely changed since we found out
we were having a baby and definitely for the better- not that it was
bad before. This is something neither of us have ever experienced and
I’m so grateful to be going through all this with him.